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She is here!! Ever Nicole Moore 10-31-11

I haven't had much time to get online or write a blog but wanted to post an update to let everyone know that Little Bird arrived safely on Halloween night. I got my Halloween baby and she looked like a pumpkin. She had some jaundice so she was a little orange.

We named her Ever Nicole Moore. The name came as a play off of the Edgar Allen Poe poem "The Raven". We didn't want to use Never as a name because it just felt negative so we shorten it to Ever. She has been keeping me up and busy. She will be 3 weeks old tomorrow. Here are a few pictures of her over the past few weeks. Love her so much!!

Day 1

Day 7

Day 14

Day 21

My birth story

It all started October 30 early Sunday morning. I went to bed at 11pm only to be awoken at 12:30, 1:30, 2:30, and 3am by contractions. When I couldn't get back to sleep by 3:30am I decided to get up and start timing my contractions. After about an hour of 5 minute apart contractions I woke my husband up to go into the hospital. He asked if he could sleep another hour. Haha. I said no I've already been up an hour and want to leave for the hospital so after a shower we were off.

We arrived at the hospital about 5:30am. After being hooked up to the monitor for an hour and talking with the doctor it was decided I would stay at the hospital. We called my family to let them know what was going on. So all day Sunday I stayed at the hospital and walked to get labor going on its own. I was able to eat and pretty much do whatever I wanted while there all day. My mom, doula Ashley, and my hubby spent the day with me. My dad and step-mom were arriving from Ohio that afternoon so I was trying to hold out until they arrived which turned out to not be too hard. My sister got off of work and came up as soon as she could. I just remember spending the day walking and bouncing on the birthing ball. I think I dilated another centimeter over the day so I went from 4cm to 5cm which is half way.

By about 6pm I was given the option of breaking my water or taking some medicine to get some sleep. I chose sleep since I had been up since 3am that morning.

The next morning at 8am they broke my water. From then on I wasn't allowed to eat anything. I again spent most the day walking and bouncing on the birthing ball to progress my labor. The contractions were coming and going about 5 minutes apart as they had been for several days. They slowly got stronger but nothing I couldn't handle. By 5pm I was dilated to 7cm and ready for some relief. I was tired and hungry and getting worried I wouldn't have my baby before the end of the night. You see it was Halloween day, the day I said all along that I wanted to have her. So I chose to get pitocin and an epidural to progress my labor and hopefully have Little Bird before midnight. There was a little trouble with getting the epidural but we finally got it in. I could no longer feel my contractions so I laid in bed and waited. At some point the pain kicked in again so they had to give me more medicine. That didn't seem to do anything so they gave me a different kind of pain medicine which did the trick. At 7pm I was pushing and at 7:30pm she was born.

She was born on 10-31-11 (Halloween) at 7:30pm. She weighed 8lbs 3.4ozs and was 21 3/4 in long.

It was the best thing in the world to hear my baby girl scream. I've missed so much with the loss of Brinley and everyday I see more and more stuff that I didn't get to have with Brinley. Ever is such a joy to have in my life. She brings me so many smiles everyday. At the same time my heart aches for my first born. She will always have a place in my heart. 

Overall I'm very happy with my birthing experience. It couldn't have went better.

Here is another picture of my beautiful baby, Ever Moore, who is now 5 weeks old and weighing 10lbs 14oz and is 22in long.

5 Weeks Old

Feeling Anxious & The Name Game

Feeling kind of bummed that my contractions seemed to have subsided today...at the same time I'm glad they have because I want a Halloween baby. I guess tomorrow is my last day to get things going on their own. I haven't been diligent about walking and other things to try and start labor. I wasn't feeling that good today so I rested a lot. There is a delicate balance between doing things to induce labor and trying to rest before the baby comes. I hope we made the right decision to wait a few more days...

Anyway I wanted to finally share some names with you. We haven't fully decided on a name but here is a short list of the names we have looked at for Little Bird.

We have really had a hard time coming up with a name for this little girl. Our top 20 names are below. They are in alphabetic order not by our favorites. You can click on the name for the name meaning of each.

1. Cadence
2. Chaley
3. Ever
4. Harlow
5. Haven
6. Hazen
7. Iris
8. Meadow
9. Neve
10. Nova
11. Sage
12. Starling
13. Sydney
14. Tara
15. Tavy
16. Teagan
17. Teal
18. Tova
19. Whisper
20. Wren

There were some names that I liked that didn't have a meaning so they are really at the bottom of my list. I don't want my child's name to not have any meaning like the name Chaley. It is very uncommon but I also was not able to find a meaning for it. Some names are meant to be fun and playful with our last name like the name Whisper. Some names I chose went with the Little Bird reference such as Wren or Starling. Others were just unique, uncommon names I have come across.

So as the search for a perfect name goes we are waiting until we can see her little face before choosing a forever name for her.

38w 2d - Halloween & 7 billion people

As I sit here having yet another contraction I can't wait to see my little girl in the next few days. Yes I said the next few days!!!

Apparently when I went to my doctor appointment on Thursday I was having some pretty good contractions so the doctor came in to check me again. I was dilated to 4cm. She asked if I wanted to go ahead into the hospital to be induced that day!! I was kind of in shock and asked if I could call my husband.

Top = Baby's Heartbeat
Bottom = Contractions

He suggested we wait until Monday to see if labor would start in its own over the weekend so that is what we are doing. Looks like I will have my Halloween baby after all!! I'm so excited to not have to wait until November 3rd to be induced. I am now taking off of work until January. Trying to get labor going on its own over the weekend. I really would like for my labor to start on its own but at the same time I'm ready to have my little girl safe in my arms. It has been such a long journey to get this far, I can't believe it is almost over.

Two more days!!

Also it looks like they are projecting the 7 Billionth Person to be born on Halloween. 

My dad is coming into town on Sunday night so he can be here for her birth. He was originally going to come on Tuesday but since the doctor was ready to induce yesterday he changed his ticket to Sunday just in case. My step-mom is also coming with him. She is just getting over having pneumonia but went to the doctor for a check-up and got a clean bill of health (in writing, even) so she could be sure the baby would be safe when she came down. lol I can't wait to see them.

I'll leave you with some pictures on me and my Little (big) Bird belly today... and one of my new haircut also done today. :P

38 WEEKS & Induction date set!!!

Little Bird is 38 weeks old today! 

I had a doctor appointment yesterday so here is the update. My Aunt Donna went with me since my husband and mom had to work. Little Bird did great on her NST once again which is always a sigh of relief. I was having some pretty good contractions about 4 to 7 minutes apart which I could feel. After I left I couldn't feel the contractions as much probably because I was up and moving around.

I'm dilated 3cm, 70% effaced, and baby is at -2 station. 

 

They gave me an induction date of November 3rd which is Thursday next week! So if I don't go into labor over the next week I will be induced next week.

I'm working the rest of this week and probably Monday then I'll start my maternity leave. Woohoo!! Here we go!!

37w 4d - I'm Back!

I have taken a few days off from blogging. This past week was a hard one for me. This week I am as pregnant as I was when I found out that Brinley no longer had a heartbeat. I've been really tired and wore down knowing that this time was approaching so I had to take a break.

I have had a couple appointments since the last time I updated. Last Tuesday I had a NST and doctor appointment at 36w 6d and a NST at 37w 2d on Friday. I was 37w 2d when I got the news about Brinley so having the NST first thing in the morning helped make the day go better. Everything is still looking great with Little Birdie. She is passing her NST with no problem.  My weight is now about 220 pounds. My blood pressure is still in the normal range about 115/60 at both appointments over the week. I'm dilated about 2cm last time they checked me so a little more progress. My next appointment is on Tuesday at 9:45am, I will be 37w 6d pregnant.

My contractions had stopped over the past week but today I have been feeling them again. I'm really hoping that I go into labor sometime over the next week because the following week I will be induced. Probably at my next doctor appointment they will give me a date for induction, then the countdown really begins. As I watch all of these women who are due around the same time as me go into labor, I know my time is coming. Two of my friends have had their babies over the past week and they were due sometime over the next week or so.

I was scared to get this far in my pregnancy. I felt like my baby's death sentence was approaching as I got closer to the 37w 2d mark. Now that it has passed I really feel like I will be bringing Little Bird home with me which is scary in itself. I will have this little life to be in charge of. I really can not wait to hold my baby. Can't wait to hear her cry, I know I will probably break down when I do. Can't wait to bring her home and take all the pictures I could ever want. I'm glad I made it this far in my pregnancy. To know that I can do this and everything will be alright. Well I don't know that yet but I feel much better about it now.

Trying to relax

So nervous for today... Let me start with my last appointment with Brinley was on a Tuesday at 4:30pm. This was the appointment I found out she was gone. I was 37w 2d. Today is a Tuesday and my appointment is at 2:15pm, I'm 36w 6d. Today is also 14 months since I had Brinley. Thankfully I have been feeling Little Bird move this morning but I can't help but feel like I'm going to get bad news...

We got her room painted and moved the furniture back in there. So over the weekend I finished the rainbow mobile I was making for her room. I also picked out a going home outfit for her and washed some clothes. I received the last couple of cloth diapers I ordered for her yesterday so I am washing all the cloth diapers I have right now. I am doing things to make me feel like she will be coming home with us.

I also feel like I have been having some slightly stronger contractions today. I've probably felt 5 or 6 so far this morning. I'm hoping I have dilated some more since last week. I'm so ready to have my baby girl in my arms.


I think I'm going to start timing my contractions to decide if I should go to the doctor earlier today. I've definitely been feeling them more this morning.

36w 1d NST & more

Update from my NST today...

Little Bird is still doing good. I'm still having contractions. I didn't notice any this morning before the test but once there and laying on the bed while hooked up to the monitor I felt at least 3 or 4 contractions. One of which was pretty strong. The nurse made me wait for the doctor to get back and take a look at my print out. Dr. Washington said I was good to go but if they got stronger and I was feeling 5 or more in an hour to go into labor and delivery over the weekend. If not, she would see me next week at my appointment.

On my back to work I did feel one more good contraction but since then they haven't been that bad. I'm not sure if it is because of the way I'm sitting or what. Little Bird is definitely low as it feels like she is weighing me down.

Today is my step-mom's birthday so I'm sure she would be ecstatic if I went into labor today. I spoke with my dad and her earlier since they are trying to determine when they will leave to come down from Ohio. He was hoping to get off of work when I go into labor but it looks like he has to wait until Sunday to take a weeks vacation. If I go into labor on a Mon or Wed he won't be able to leave until the following Sunday. I know he is disappointed that he might not make it for her delivery but glad he will be down here to see her either way.

I really don't think I will go into labor until next week sometime. My next appointment is on Tues the 18th which will be Brinley's 14 month angelversary. It will also be a day before I hit 37 weeks. I lost Brinley at 37w 2d so my emotions have already been pretty high. In a way I want to make it past my milestone to prove that I can but on the other hand I just want Little Bird here now while I know she is still alive. I feel like I must warn her of the upcoming danger she might face while in my uterus. I want so desperately to bring my baby home this time.

On a lighter note I have started working on a rainbow colored mobile for her baby room. I'll be sure to upload some pictures once I finish it. This is my weekend project while my husband and step-daughter head to Columbia for the State Fair. I told him I wasn't going because it is a 2 1/2 hour drive from my home and hospital. I didn't want to chance going into labor while out of town so I'm letting him go without me. My mom, sister, and doula will all be in town so I don't feel so alone plus he will only be 2 1/2 hours away if I do go into labor, he can just drive back.

Well I hope he doesn't have to but if he does he better bring me some deep fried oreos!! lol Sorry I'm missing out on all the state fair food this year but next year we will hopefully be taking our 1 year old daughter with us.

35w 5d Dr Appt & NST

Scheduled my doctor appointment for first thing in the morning thinking that hubby would be able to go but he couldn't. Luckily my sister didn't have to work so she was able to go with me. I'm getting very anxious as my milestone approaches next week. My last appointment with Brinley, the one where I found out she no longer had a heartbeat, was at 4:30 in the afternoon so I like to try and schedule my appointments in the morning now so I can get it over with and know that everything is alright with Little Bird.

The office is pretty slow first thing in the morning so I can get right in and not have to wait long. So today the NST was still picking up contractions about 6-7 minutes apart while I was hooked up. Little Bird passed just fine so she is doing good. As I sit here and type this she has the hiccups. :-)

They tested me for Group B Strep this appointment so I should find out those results later this week. If I have it that just means they have to give me antibiotics at the hospital to keep it from going to the baby.

Met with the midwife today, Dr. Hardin, she went ahead and checked my cervix again and said I felt dilated about 1cm and it was starting to soften!! So I am finally showing some progress from these contractions.

My stats...

• Weight - 217lbs
• BP - 103/60
• Fundas Height - 36cm

My next appointment is Thursday for another NST. The lady at the front desk made my next doctor appointment for Tuesday the 18th next week in the afternoon. :-( The 18th will be Brinley's 14 month angelversary, the day before my 37 week mark (I lost Brinley at 37w 2d), and my appointment is in the afternoon what I just said today I didn't want to do.... Hoping I feel great over the next week and that Little Bird keeps moving, moving, moving..

I asked her about making my NST for that following Thursday and she said "Let's just see if you make it that far."



We got the baby room painted and somewhat put back together this weekend.

 I still need to get a picture of the finished product. We have some pictures to hang on the walls. I also want to get a dresser and chair for the room but after that it should be completed and ready for my rainbow girl.


My back has been super sore the past few days I'm guessing from the contractions. I'm looking forward to getting a massage from hubby and a hot shower this afternoon. I'm also going to do some stretching to see if that helps. It is time to help this labor progress.

35w 1d Suprise Contractions

Left side is LB's heartbeat.
Right side are my contractions.

Today was my second NST for the week. While there I told the nurse about some symptoms I was having yesterday that I thought were contractions. I had a low back ache with goosebumps then a flushed feeling. It last about a minute or so then would go away. This happened 3 different times so she said she would have a doctor visit me. After hooking me up to the NST monitor she left for about 15 minutes.

When she came back she asked if I could feel those contractions. I told her that I could because while laying there I noticed twice that I was having a cramping feeling along with that flushed feeling again. I asked her how many contractions I had because I only felt that twice and she said about four or five contractions!! I didn't even feel all of them.

The doctor came in and checked my cervix which she said was still posterior which means that it is still towards the back. I also was not dilated or showing any progress down there. So they told me if I noticed any changes or felt different to call them over the weekend. I also went ahead and got the flu shot while I was there today in hopes that it will help protect Little Bird from getting the flu during her first 6 months of life. My next appointment is Monday.

FYI: We are requesting that all family and friends that wish to have contact with her get their flu shots and whooping cough (pertussis) vaccines asap. We have already had one loss and want to take every precaution necessary to prevent something happening to our little girl. I just don't know if I could bear losing another baby.

35 weeks

Well I'm here. I made it to 35 weeks and from now until I reach 39 weeks if I go into labor my doctor will not be stopping it. If I haven't went into labor by 39 weeks then she will be able to induce me. I'm hoping to go into labor on my own so I will be trying to get that started over the next few weeks. Maybe not this week but definitely will be trying starting next week. I have to get the baby room finished this week, pack my bags for the hospital, pick out a going home outfit for her, and make sure I have everything I need before she comes home. Although today I have been having an achy feeling in my lower back that comes and goes along with goosebumps and feeling flushed all over. It has only happened like 3 times this morning but it may be the beginning of labor contractions...I'll keep you updated.

This past weekend I had my baby shower which was a complete success! I had so many friends come and we had a great time. My mom did a wonderful job with decorations and games. I think everyone had a really good time. My cake was beautiful and so yummy!

My rainbow cake for Little Bird with
rainbow colored cloud cupcakes

The cake had rainbow colored layers in it!

Here is an idea of how many people came.
There are more to the right side of the picture and
probably some in the kitchen not in this picture.

One of Little Bird's many cute outfits.

We were playing a game of hide the
baby safety pin from Heather.

My mom made this ridiculous hat for me to wear.
It only lasted as long as this picture. I wore a headband with a
butterfly on it and it was covering it up so the hat didn't stay long. lol

This week Little Bird is supposed to weigh as much as a Honeydew Melon which is 5 1/4 pounds. Most of her physical development is complete so she is just packing on the weight from here until she is born. Of course her lungs are still developing but she will be fine if she is born now.

We bought paint for the baby room this past Sunday and I'm looking forward to getting that done this coming weekend. I will be taping the baby room tonight and probably Friday so that Mark can paint. I love the color we bought. Here is a picture that I based it off of.

Isn't that teal color just lovely? So light and refreshing, plus I think it will be good if our next baby is a boy. It is still hard for me to believe I will be bringing this baby home but I'm letting myself hope.

34w 5d Dr appt & NST

I had my weekly doctor appointment at 10:30 this morning. I went by myself again because hubby had a job to be at by 11am. After they called me back and took my weight and blood pressure I was sitting there waiting to talk with the nurse about any concerns I had and there was this baby crying loudly. Well since losing Brinley whenever I hear a baby cry it just break my heart so I was getting upset. Then I could hear a woman yelling over the baby crying. The nurse came over and asked if I could hear the yelling which I said yes. She went to see what was going on.

Turns out that the lady was mad because she had been waiting long so she was letting her baby cry thinking someone would come quicker! That just pissed me off. I wanted to yell at that lady and tell her she didn't know how lucky she was to have her child and that her baby shouldn't have to suffer because she is mad. I'd hate to see what she does to her child when she is alone at home. Some people just have no clue.....

Well after all that mess my appointment went well. For the beginning of my non-stress test Little Bird was asleep so it took a while to get a reading but she passed eventually.

Some stats...
Weight - 218.2
BP - 117/77
Urine - ok
Fundus - ? Forgot to ask.

Spoke with my doctor about my birth plan and she seemed fine with most of my requests. Some of them were against hospital policy like having husband or someone go with the baby to the nursery or having the pediatrician visit her in the hospital room instead of the nursery. I'm ok with all of that though.

She did say that if I go into labor after I reach 35 weeks (this Wednesday) that they will NOT stop my labor!!! So I could essentially have her anytime from now until the end of October. If I don't go into labor by 39 weeks (Nov 2nd) then she will be able to induce me but said no earlier than that. I hope I go into labor on my own.

I'm curious as to how many women go into labor about the same time with each pregnancy or is it different? Like I was induced at 37w 3d last time so would that mean I have a greater chance of going into labor on my own about that same time? I know I was already dilated 3cm a few weeks before they induced me and I don't think I am dilated at all right now. Maybe they will check me at my next appointment.

Starting this week I will also be going twice a week for NST because I am getting closer to my milestone week (37w) I asked if I could come more often for those. I think it will help ease my anxiety as that time approaches. I go again this Thursday for my second NST this week then back next Monday for another doctor appointment.

I am also going to get a flu shot Thursday which is something that I haven't done in years but I want my Little Birdie to be protected.

The countdown begins!

A different child

Someone posted this poem in my pregnancy after loss group and it made me cry. I wanted to share it with you all.

A Different Child

Brinley Moore (your sister)
Aug 18, 2010

A different child, people notice
There's a special glow around you.
You grow surrounded by love
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother and father's eyes.
And if sometimes between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day you'll understand.
You'll understand there was once another child.
A different child.
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes.
That child will never keep them up at night.
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all...
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly

Little Bird (33w 3d)

And may you learn the lesson forever:
How infinitely precious,
How infinitely fragile is this life on earth.
One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost you will tell them with great compassion:

"I'm only here because my parents tried again."

Author Unknown

3D ultrasound & Non-stress test 33w 5d

Last Friday was my follow up appointment with the cardiologist. Basically from the results I listed before he decided it was best to just not do anything right now about the heart palpitations. From my 24hr heart monitor he said that the highest my heart rate got was 145bpm at about 7pm on the first day I had it on. I didn't have anything written down on my journal I was supposed to write about what I was doing while wearing it. I believe we were walking around the Beach Babies Kidsale at that time so that is why it was so high. Other than that he didn't see anything to worry about. I have a follow up appointment in December after I have Little Bird to see if I'm still having the palpitations. 

Saturday I had my 3D ultrasound in the morning. We had actually come across a yard sale the week before that the ultrasound technician was having and bought a couple Care Bears from her. She found some more and brought them to the ultrasound for me so not only did I leave with some great pictures but I also got a couple of Care Bears for Little Bird.
 Here are some of my favorites from the ultrasound....

Saturday evening I went to my first baby shower since having Brinley last year. It was for a friend of mine from high school. She is due Oct 27th so just a few weeks ahead of me. It was fun to see her and her sister again. Ended up being 5 of us that were pregnant at the baby shower which was kind of funny. It was also kind of hard because of my past experience with losing Brinley. I didn't want to scare this one girl with my "horror" story of Brinley's birth. She was pregnant with her first and had mentioned that she has heard lots of bad stories about birth. I thought to my self well I'm sure you haven't heard nothing yet.....

Over all it was a fun time. I can't wait for my baby shower which is this coming up Saturday.

Me all hooked up with clicker in hand

Today is yet another Monday and another doctor appointment. I only had a non-stress test scheduled for today. I got there at 10am and they took me back to hook me up about 10:20. After she hooked me up and left it was probably 10 minutes before I noticed there wasn't any paper in the machine. :-\ I was hooked up to the machine and there by myself so I called the front desk to let them know. After they came back in and replaced the paper it was another hour and a half before they came in to check on me!!

NST paper

I was so uncomfortable, had to pee again, and was ready to get some lunch. It was 12:20pm before I got out of the doctor's office. I thought I would have been out of their quicker because I wasn't meeting with a doctor but boy was I wrong. I was very aggravated to say the least. I had to get back to work and they just left me sitting in there because they got busy with other appointments.

Little Bird passed the test no problem. She did fall asleep and the nurse had to buzz her to get her moving again after they changed out the paper. It was like a little vibrator thing they push on your stomach for a second to wake the baby. I was thinking I'd like to go home with one of those! lol


So Friday is my first appointment with a pediatrician. I'm going to interview them to see if they are who I want to use for Little Bird. I will probably go with this pediatrician because I have heard great things about him. He is the same one my sister uses for her kids too. I have another appointment on Monday with a different one who I've also heard great things about so we will have to see. This is something else I never did for Brinley. I was just going to use whoever was working that night then find a pediatrician after I had her but I never got to do that.... I guess it was better that way, one less person to call and give the bad news too. 

Not wanting to close on a bad note...


The ultrasound technician, Jackie, did say that Little Bird is going to have a head full of hair. Here is another picture that shows her ear (right) along with her hair (left) which is hard to tell if you don't know what you are looking at but it should look lumpy where the hair is.

32w 5d Dr appt

Some updates from the cardiologist appointments....

Thyroid results came back normal so I don't have to worry about that. Went and had my echocardiogram done last Thursday and the technician said my heart looked good and she didn't see anything to worry about there. I have a follow up appointment this Friday at 1:30pm with the cardiologist and I expect not to have to go back to him again with these results. I guess I will just have to deal with the heart palpitations until after I have Little Bird.

Had my weekly doctor appointment today with my OB.
Weight = 217 lbs
BP = 136/66
Fundal height = 33cm
I guess my urine came back normal because they didn't say anything about it and I didn't ask.

The nurse, May, said that my heart rate was high but I knew that cause I could feel it pounding in my chest. lol She didn't say what it was though and again, I didn't ask.

I told the doctor, Dr. Hardin today, about some aches and pains I've been having but nothing major. They are checking to make sure my UTI is gone. She did check to see if I had another yeast infection which I do have the beginnings of one so I'm getting more medicine for that. She also checked my cervix while she was down there and said it was closed, long and firm which is good news so far.

I talked with her about what kind of freedom I would have at the hospital while in labor. I specifically asked about being able to sit on a birthing ball while being monitored. She said that while I was in early labor they would check the baby every 30 minutes so I could be up and moving around in between if I wanted. Then while in active labor they would want to check me ever 15 minutes but I could still be up and moving around which is great news. Dr. H did say that if they induced me it would be different because I would have to be constantly monitored so I would probably be stuck in the bed or I could possibly sit on the birthing ball.

I guess because I have been doing so good Dr. Washington wants me to come back in two weeks for a doctor visit but I still go next week for the NST. So next Monday at 10am for the NST then the following Monday Oct 3rd at 10:30.

This weekend I have my last ultrasound scheduled. I'm getting the second 3D/4D ultrasound done at Special Delivery and am really looking forward to it. One last look at my Little Bird before she is born. I can't wait to see how chubby her cheeks are.

We took maternity photos this past Friday and will post some of those as soon as I get them. Here is one as a preview. <3