Thursday, September 29, 2011

A different child

Someone posted this poem in my pregnancy after loss group and it made me cry. I wanted to share it with you all.

A Different Child

Brinley Moore (your sister)
Aug 18, 2010
A different child, people notice
There's a special glow around you.
You grow surrounded by love
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother and father's eyes.
And if sometimes between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day you'll understand.
You'll understand there was once another child.
A different child.
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes.
That child will never keep them up at night.
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all...
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
Little Bird (33w 3d)
And may you learn the lesson forever:
How infinitely precious,
How infinitely fragile is this life on earth.
One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost you will tell them with great compassion:

"I'm only here because my parents tried again."
Author Unknown

Monday, September 26, 2011

3D ultrasound & Non-stress test 33w 5d

Last Friday was my follow up appointment with the cardiologist. Basically from the results I listed before he decided it was best to just not do anything right now about the heart palpitations. From my 24hr heart monitor he said that the highest my heart rate got was 145bpm at about 7pm on the first day I had it on. I didn't have anything written down on my journal I was supposed to write about what I was doing while wearing it. I believe we were walking around the Beach Babies Kidsale at that time so that is why it was so high. Other than that he didn't see anything to worry about. I have a follow up appointment in December after I have Little Bird to see if I'm still having the palpitations. 

Saturday I had my 3D ultrasound in the morning. We had actually come across a yard sale the week before that the ultrasound technician was having and bought a couple Care Bears from her. She found some more and brought them to the ultrasound for me so not only did I leave with some great pictures but I also got a couple of Care Bears for Little Bird.
 Here are some of my favorites from the ultrasound....

Saturday evening I went to my first baby shower since having Brinley last year. It was for a friend of mine from high school. She is due Oct 27th so just a few weeks ahead of me. It was fun to see her and her sister again. Ended up being 5 of us that were pregnant at the baby shower which was kind of funny. It was also kind of hard because of my past experience with losing Brinley. I didn't want to scare this one girl with my "horror" story of Brinley's birth. She was pregnant with her first and had mentioned that she has heard lots of bad stories about birth. I thought to my self well I'm sure you haven't heard nothing yet.....

Over all it was a fun time. I can't wait for my baby shower which is this coming up Saturday.

Me all hooked up with clicker in hand
Today is yet another Monday and another doctor appointment. I only had a non-stress test scheduled for today. I got there at 10am and they took me back to hook me up about 10:20. After she hooked me up and left it was probably 10 minutes before I noticed there wasn't any paper in the machine. :-\ I was hooked up to the machine and there by myself so I called the front desk to let them know. After they came back in and replaced the paper it was another hour and a half before they came in to check on me!!

NST paper
I was so uncomfortable, had to pee again, and was ready to get some lunch. It was 12:20pm before I got out of the doctor's office. I thought I would have been out of their quicker because I wasn't meeting with a doctor but boy was I wrong. I was very aggravated to say the least. I had to get back to work and they just left me sitting in there because they got busy with other appointments.

Little Bird passed the test no problem. She did fall asleep and the nurse had to buzz her to get her moving again after they changed out the paper. It was like a little vibrator thing they push on your stomach for a second to wake the baby. I was thinking I'd like to go home with one of those! lol

So Friday is my first appointment with a pediatrician. I'm going to interview them to see if they are who I want to use for Little Bird. I will probably go with this pediatrician because I have heard great things about him. He is the same one my sister uses for her kids too. I have another appointment on Monday with a different one who I've also heard great things about so we will have to see. This is something else I never did for Brinley. I was just going to use whoever was working that night then find a pediatrician after I had her but I never got to do that.... I guess it was better that way, one less person to call and give the bad news too. 

Not wanting to close on a bad note...

The ultrasound technician, Jackie, did say that Little Bird is going to have a head full of hair. Here is another picture that shows her ear (right) along with her hair (left) which is hard to tell if you don't know what you are looking at but it should look lumpy where the hair is.

Monday, September 19, 2011

32w 5d Dr appt

Some updates from the cardiologist appointments....

Thyroid results came back normal so I don't have to worry about that. Went and had my echocardiogram done last Thursday and the technician said my heart looked good and she didn't see anything to worry about there. I have a follow up appointment this Friday at 1:30pm with the cardiologist and I expect not to have to go back to him again with these results. I guess I will just have to deal with the heart palpitations until after I have Little Bird.

Had my weekly doctor appointment today with my OB.
Weight = 217 lbs
BP = 136/66
Fundal height = 33cm
I guess my urine came back normal because they didn't say anything about it and I didn't ask.

The nurse, May, said that my heart rate was high but I knew that cause I could feel it pounding in my chest. lol She didn't say what it was though and again, I didn't ask.

I told the doctor, Dr. Hardin today, about some aches and pains I've been having but nothing major. They are checking to make sure my UTI is gone. She did check to see if I had another yeast infection which I do have the beginnings of one so I'm getting more medicine for that. She also checked my cervix while she was down there and said it was closed, long and firm which is good news so far.

I talked with her about what kind of freedom I would have at the hospital while in labor. I specifically asked about being able to sit on a birthing ball while being monitored. She said that while I was in early labor they would check the baby every 30 minutes so I could be up and moving around in between if I wanted. Then while in active labor they would want to check me ever 15 minutes but I could still be up and moving around which is great news. Dr. H did say that if they induced me it would be different because I would have to be constantly monitored so I would probably be stuck in the bed or I could possibly sit on the birthing ball.

I guess because I have been doing so good Dr. Washington wants me to come back in two weeks for a doctor visit but I still go next week for the NST. So next Monday at 10am for the NST then the following Monday Oct 3rd at 10:30.

This weekend I have my last ultrasound scheduled. I'm getting the second 3D/4D ultrasound done at Special Delivery and am really looking forward to it. One last look at my Little Bird before she is born. I can't wait to see how chubby her cheeks are.

We took maternity photos this past Friday and will post some of those as soon as I get them. Here is one as a preview. <3

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Baby Registries!!

I did receive a lot of baby stuff last year when I was expecting Brinley but there are still items that I need or would like so I just wanted to post a quick blog with links to my baby registries.

Amazon -

Target -

Babies R Us -

I plan on doing cloth diapering so that is a big item on my registries. I've mostly added Gdiapers but I recently came across another diaper that I want to try called GroVia. There is a girl here locally that sells them online but I got to check them out in person and think they would be really easy to manage. So feel free to buy me some from her if you want. :0)

The link to her website is:

As always money is also appreciated especially since I won't be getting paid while I am off of work. So looking forward to holding my little girl in a few weeks. 

Thanks in advance for the gifts. 

31 week checkup

Yesterday I went for blood work to check my thyroid which came back normal. I also went to drop off my 24hr heart monitor. I won't have those results probably until Thursday or next week sometime.

I had my weekly check-up and non-stress test. My blood pressure was in the normal range, I can never remember those numbers..., my weight was about 213lbs, and my urine came back fine. Little Bird passed the non-stess test with flying colors. As soon as they hooked me up to the monitors she was moving like crazy which is part of the test so that was awesome. Lastly I measured at about 32-33 cm which is good.

I was supposed to meet with the new doctor but she went into labor and delivered her baby so I guess she will be out for the next few weeks. I have yet to meet her but hear great things about her. She may be back to work before I have this little girl.

Twice a year here there is a big kids consignment sale called Beach Babies Kidsale and it is going on this week. Actually tomorrow is the last day for the sale when everything goes on sale for half price. We went the first day and bought a changing table, baby carrier, shopping cart cover, and pop out bed. Now the only thing I still want to get is a chair for breastfeeding in and the baby room furniture will be complete.

Here is our changing table.
Baby Bjorn carrier

Can't wait to get started on the painting of the room so I can finish putting it all together. Maybe this weekend we can get started on that.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Cardiologist appointment 9-9-11

Had an appointment with the cardiologist last Friday because of my heart palpitations. I'm very happy with the nurses and doctor there. They were very nice and took the time to listen to my concerns. I feel confident that they will do all that is possible to figure out if these palpitations are something to worry about or not. I was given a 24 hour heart monitor to wear which I have to drop back off on Monday.

Me at 30 weeks
They also set me up to get an echo cardiogram done next Thursday and to have my thyroid checked. While he was checking my heart in the office he did say I have a little heart murmur but that was to be expected while pregnant. All of these tests should show whether my heart problems are something to worry about or not. I go back in 2 weeks for a follow up and to find out the results from all the tests. I'm hoping that it is nothing more than normal pregnancy stuff but I don't want to take any chances and talking with Dr. Freedman made me feel confident that that is what they are going to help me figure out.

So I have a busy week ahead of me with doctor appointments and blood work to be done. I've also got a meeting with Ashley my doula (Bodhi Tree Birth Services) to discuss my loss of Brinley and how that has affected me. We are going for our maternity pictures next Friday which was so generously donated by a friend of mine that does photography professionally, Myztic Photos go check out their Facebook Page Here.

Today we are celebrating many birthdays within my family from the months of July - September. Alec (step-daughter), Jaime (big sister), Scott (brother-in-law), Brinley (stillborn daughter), Melanie (mother), Summer (niece), Mark (hubby), and Ryan (little brother) so that is 8 people total.

I want to end with saying that I wish peace for all those families that lost loved ones 10 years ago. <3

Thursday, September 8, 2011

31 weeks

Yesterday I hit the 31 week mark! I'm at the end of my 7th month being pregnant now. This week Little Bird is about 16 inches long and weighs just over 3lbs. She has been moving up a storm. I'm getting less sleep these days so I'm finding that I'm tired throughout the day. I've also noticed a few Braxton Hicks contractions here and there.

I had a doctor appointment yesterday on my hubby's birthday. They hooked me up to do a non-stress test which is where they hook a heartbeat monitor and contractions monitor up to my belly to monitor the baby. They give me a clicker that I click every time I feel her move so they can check whether her heartbeat goes up or down when she is moving or if I am having a contraction. They want the heartbeat to go up during those times so we know she isn't under stress. She passed the NST with flying colors! She is doing great.

The doctor said that my protein test from the hospital showed my protein at 274 and anything over 300 is high. So having a protein over 300 and a high blood pressure, anything over 140/90, means that you have preeclampsia. I don't have either but they are keeping a closer eye on me to be sure. My blood pressure at the appointment was 103/70 so it was good. She told me to let them know if I am seeing spots, notice swelling in my face or hands, or have pain in the top right side of my belly. These are all signs of pre-e. Also my weight was 213lbs.

Dr. Washington also wants me to come in once a week from here on out. My next appointment is Tue Sep 13th at 9:15am which is my brother's birthday.  I'm not sure if she is going to have me doing the NST every week yet or if she still wants to wait until I'm a couple more weeks along. She did say that right now we are trying to get me to 35 weeks with no problems then if something does come up they can go ahead and induce me. So essentially I could be having this baby in another 4 weeks! I've got a lot of work to do at the house to get ready for Little Bird if that is the case.

Over all it was a good appointment. My doula, Ashley Sullivan, was able to come to my appointment with me. It was good for her to meet my doctor and explain what her role will be at the birth. We then went over to Tropical Smoothie and chatted for a while. I enjoyed talking with her.

I'm looking forward to being able to hold my little girl and bring her home. As I'm sitting here typing this she is moving around. I imagine her playing with her umbilical cord or doing somersaults while she is still floating around weightless. <3

Monday, September 5, 2011


Sleep has been eluding me. I toss and turn all night trying to get comfortable. If I'm laying in the wrong position then my heart starts pounding really hard and I wake up hot. Last night I was awake at 1:30, 3:30, and 6:30 so about every 2 hours or so. It occurred to me that I better get used to it because the baby will have me up at those times with feedings and diaper changes. I feel so tired these days and I still have 2 months to go.

It is all worth it as long as my baby is happy, healthy, and alive after all is said and done. Can't wait to hold my baby girl.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Test results

Doctor just called and said that my protein was a little elevated in my urine from the 24hr test so I have to start going next week for non-stress tests. She said it wasn't enough to be concerned about just yet but wanted to start keeping a closer eye on me.

I'm starting to feel like this pregnancy is going down hill. :-(

I only have 2 months left to go.

30 weeks

Getting this post up a couple days late because I visited the hospital Wednesday night. Let me start with saying everything if fine with baby and me.

I called the doctor Wednesday night about 6:30pm because I was seeeing spots. She told me to come into the hospital to be checked out. She wanted to check for signs of preeclampsia which is where your blood pressure can rise rapidly leading to seizure, stroke, multiple organ failure and death of the mother and/or baby.

I arrived there about 7:30pm where they checked me and in and took my blood pressure. It was 146/60 or something like that so it was up a little. By the time they took me up to labor and delievery and checked it again it was in the normal range. They also hooked me up to the heartbeat monitor for the baby, took a blood and urine sample to run some tests. I spent most of my time sitting in the hospital bed hooked up to the monitor and listening to the baby's heartbeat.

After a few hours they came back with the results and let me go home. Turns out I did have a urinary tract infection which I have to take medicine for. I guess the results from the other tests were good since they let me go home. I had to do a 24hr urine collection and drop it back off yesterday night for more testing. I will probably get those results next week at my appointment.

Again I am doing fine. I think I have been having blood pressure problems because I have seen spots before but forgot to mention it to my doctor at my last appointment. I have also been having heart palpitations which I am scheduled to meet with the cardiologist next week on Friday about. As well as having a headache a lot.

I'm working on getting these issues figured out but I only have 2 more months to go until she is here then they should clear up on their own. Next appointment is scheduled for September 7th at 4:45pm.