New milestones come with tears

With every new thing Ever does I cry. I cry because I'm so happy that I get to have her in my life and I cry because I have another baby who never got to be. Ever warms my heart with every little smile and coo. Just the other night she was having a "conversation" with her Grammy (See video). She is 11 weeks & 6 days old in the video.

Over the past few days she has become more vocal. I'm so happy to have her in my life but I am holding onto the pain of not having her sister, Brinley, here as well. I'm seeing everyday what I missed out on with Brinley and that is hard on the heart.

Ceiling Fan

Dear Ever,

It is the funniest thing to me but you love the ceiling fan. You can be fussing and all we have to do is turn the ceiling fan on and place you where you can see it and you just start smiling.

It doesn't take much to entertain you. <3

Love you,
     Your momma

10 Weeks Old today

I haven't had much time to get on here and post updates about Ever. I have been spending my time enjoying her. She is growing so much each and every day. She can hold her head up pretty good by now and loves sticking her tongue out. Here she is Christmas smiling and sticking out her tongue. Sorry the audio is a little off...

She started daycare last week and I started back to work. I miss her so much during the day. I hate that I will miss out on seeing her most the day.

Today she is 10 weeks old. Here is a video of her checking out her mobile above the changing table. She loves that thing! ( I was wrong in the video and said she was 9 weeks old)

Well I'm off to bed. I start my last semester of school tomorrow so it is an early morning for me. Good night.

Stationery card

Colorful Joy Christmas Card

Quick and easy: Christmas photo cards at Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

She is here!! Ever Nicole Moore 10-31-11

I haven't had much time to get online or write a blog but wanted to post an update to let everyone know that Little Bird arrived safely on Halloween night. I got my Halloween baby and she looked like a pumpkin. She had some jaundice so she was a little orange.

We named her Ever Nicole Moore. The name came as a play off of the Edgar Allen Poe poem "The Raven". We didn't want to use Never as a name because it just felt negative so we shorten it to Ever. She has been keeping me up and busy. She will be 3 weeks old tomorrow. Here are a few pictures of her over the past few weeks. Love her so much!!

Day 1

Day 7

Day 14

Day 21

My birth story

It all started October 30 early Sunday morning. I went to bed at 11pm only to be awoken at 12:30, 1:30, 2:30, and 3am by contractions. When I couldn't get back to sleep by 3:30am I decided to get up and start timing my contractions. After about an hour of 5 minute apart contractions I woke my husband up to go into the hospital. He asked if he could sleep another hour. Haha. I said no I've already been up an hour and want to leave for the hospital so after a shower we were off.

We arrived at the hospital about 5:30am. After being hooked up to the monitor for an hour and talking with the doctor it was decided I would stay at the hospital. We called my family to let them know what was going on. So all day Sunday I stayed at the hospital and walked to get labor going on its own. I was able to eat and pretty much do whatever I wanted while there all day. My mom, doula Ashley, and my hubby spent the day with me. My dad and step-mom were arriving from Ohio that afternoon so I was trying to hold out until they arrived which turned out to not be too hard. My sister got off of work and came up as soon as she could. I just remember spending the day walking and bouncing on the birthing ball. I think I dilated another centimeter over the day so I went from 4cm to 5cm which is half way.

By about 6pm I was given the option of breaking my water or taking some medicine to get some sleep. I chose sleep since I had been up since 3am that morning.

The next morning at 8am they broke my water. From then on I wasn't allowed to eat anything. I again spent most the day walking and bouncing on the birthing ball to progress my labor. The contractions were coming and going about 5 minutes apart as they had been for several days. They slowly got stronger but nothing I couldn't handle. By 5pm I was dilated to 7cm and ready for some relief. I was tired and hungry and getting worried I wouldn't have my baby before the end of the night. You see it was Halloween day, the day I said all along that I wanted to have her. So I chose to get pitocin and an epidural to progress my labor and hopefully have Little Bird before midnight. There was a little trouble with getting the epidural but we finally got it in. I could no longer feel my contractions so I laid in bed and waited. At some point the pain kicked in again so they had to give me more medicine. That didn't seem to do anything so they gave me a different kind of pain medicine which did the trick. At 7pm I was pushing and at 7:30pm she was born.

She was born on 10-31-11 (Halloween) at 7:30pm. She weighed 8lbs 3.4ozs and was 21 3/4 in long.

It was the best thing in the world to hear my baby girl scream. I've missed so much with the loss of Brinley and everyday I see more and more stuff that I didn't get to have with Brinley. Ever is such a joy to have in my life. She brings me so many smiles everyday. At the same time my heart aches for my first born. She will always have a place in my heart. 

Overall I'm very happy with my birthing experience. It couldn't have went better.

Here is another picture of my beautiful baby, Ever Moore, who is now 5 weeks old and weighing 10lbs 14oz and is 22in long.

5 Weeks Old

Feeling Anxious & The Name Game

Feeling kind of bummed that my contractions seemed to have subsided today...at the same time I'm glad they have because I want a Halloween baby. I guess tomorrow is my last day to get things going on their own. I haven't been diligent about walking and other things to try and start labor. I wasn't feeling that good today so I rested a lot. There is a delicate balance between doing things to induce labor and trying to rest before the baby comes. I hope we made the right decision to wait a few more days...

Anyway I wanted to finally share some names with you. We haven't fully decided on a name but here is a short list of the names we have looked at for Little Bird.

We have really had a hard time coming up with a name for this little girl. Our top 20 names are below. They are in alphabetic order not by our favorites. You can click on the name for the name meaning of each.

1. Cadence
2. Chaley
3. Ever
4. Harlow
5. Haven
6. Hazen
7. Iris
8. Meadow
9. Neve
10. Nova
11. Sage
12. Starling
13. Sydney
14. Tara
15. Tavy
16. Teagan
17. Teal
18. Tova
19. Whisper
20. Wren

There were some names that I liked that didn't have a meaning so they are really at the bottom of my list. I don't want my child's name to not have any meaning like the name Chaley. It is very uncommon but I also was not able to find a meaning for it. Some names are meant to be fun and playful with our last name like the name Whisper. Some names I chose went with the Little Bird reference such as Wren or Starling. Others were just unique, uncommon names I have come across.

So as the search for a perfect name goes we are waiting until we can see her little face before choosing a forever name for her.